Friday, April 5, 2013

Kurt's Organized Confusion

Kurt Cobain died this day 19 years ago.  I was standing in the doorway of my living room when my sister called me and said "Kurt Cobain is dead.  He killed himself".  It was pretty numbing news for a then 16 year old Nirvana fan.  I turned on the TV and watched the footage of police walking around the greenhouse where his body was found.  What a waste.  Why?  I could never understand.  I could never understand suicide.

Since that time I've had more than one person close to me admit to suicidal tendencies - but thankfully none commit to suicidal tendency.   But even still..with those people I just couldn't understand - why?  What solution does it present - besides the obvious unfathomable ..

but that's the thing...I didn't understand because .. to was unfathomable....  I was lucky....fortunate...blessed... with relatively decent and stable mental health.  Sure like anyone things got dark in my life at points but there was no chemical imbalance or other to push me to the unthinkable ..

As many of us know... one wonderful byproduct of finding music and getting lost in its powers as a teenager is displacing those bad thoughts and feelings ...getting rid of all the static and noise in our heads..our problems are gone... temporarily.  It's wonderful.  But I also wonder if it gives a false sense of freedom and resolution from mental health problems : a dichotomous look at the effect of music for sure.

I would venture to guess that Kurt understood and used this to its fullest potential.

Kurt Cobain playing the bass he used in his earliest demos
Just look at the name of Kurt's band Nirvana  ...which is defined by as:
a place or state characterized by freedom from or oblivion to pain, worry, and the external world.
Take a minute to remember Kurt Cobain as a human.  Take a minute to check out these links.

Now take a minute to think of anyone, possibly including yourself, that might benefit from help.  Check in on them.   Check in on yourself.

Stay healthy.

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